<aside>
the loss of agency within the collaboration process ultimately harms relationships & we must consider the possibility that this is on purpose.
</aside>
when you accept a collaboration, the person gets an acceptance notification. because good news! when you decline, the person gets no notification. because no bad news is good news!
first the original poster is not told of their 'no' and, unless direct feedback is given they may not ever notice the 'no' they will eventually tag the person again and again and again and never see the nos. this harms relationships!
when the entire consent process is accepting or declining a collab, and that lack of consent is not heard, it deteriorates relationships and fundamentally creates a lack of trust.
all of this is not that big of a deal… when people know each other and interact on other platforms or in real life. but it IS a big deal when your primary interaction with someone is accept or decline.
the second way a person loses agency when they say 'no' is that they are not told that they will still be tagged in the post after their decline. unless they go to settings to their tags to remove themselves that will remain in their tagged. and yes, you can set up settings that prevent you from being tagged without approval, the default is that you can just be tagged.
most people do not give feedback as to why they are declining. most people are conditioned to just go with the flow… say yes… do the thing… the people who make these apps know that. if you don't think that behavioral psychology informs very much of the tech you use… think again.
this is psychological, they know that once something doesn't feel good and you want to say no, but at the at the same time saying yes, is the only way to continue being in community… and when your 'no' is not respected or even acknowledged… it pulls people apart through lack of mutual respect and through basic human nature, and… this is kind of evil.